Google: Pay Five Billion Dollars For Your Sins

Web search Megalith Google is an entity based upon the collection and analysis of huge amounts of data. This data is collected by monitoring of users’ search, downloading and web browsing habits; there is no way around this, and Google do not deny this. What they do attempt to do is to ‘wash’ the data, or manipulate it in such a way as to make the individual users for which the data pertains completely untraceable. Of course the fact remains that Google has this information somewhere. Queue yet another conspiracy theory against the Silicon Valley giant.Dylan Stephen Jayne, previously a guest at the pleasure of the US Government at the Pike County Correctional Facility, filed the suit against the founders of Google for “crimes against humanity,” including the aiding of terrorism, and threatening his personal safety. ArsTechnica reckons this is the first true conspiracy theory to be taken to court.

And what does Jayne want in return for Google’s guilt? Only Five BILLION dollars. Yes, that’s right: Jayne requests, in his five-page handwritten claim, that Google, a company that has no respect for humanity, pay him five billion dollars. Google needn’t worry, though, because Jayne’s shrewd financial mind has come up with a repayment plan fit for Silicon Kings: the first cheque need be written out to the value of a mere $250 million. Phew!

And the main charge, that warrants this massive payoff? If Jayne’s social security number is turned upside down, then it becomes a scrambled code that spells out the name “Google”. Scary? Maybe. Jayne says that this encoding of his SS number means he is not only at risk from identity theft, but from the police and authorities that might detain him for assisting in terrorist acts. How? We don’t know.

We may mock Jayne – and he can’t seriously have expected anything less – but the wider issues touched upon here, mainly Google’s use of the masses of personal information that they are collecting, are the ones that we really should be taking more seriously.

Posted on 24 September 2007 by mike in News